I have been an intolerant intense git for a long time. It’s not my fault. And it’s not anyone else’s fault.
It’s just how I’ve been wired.
Due to various experiences at various points I’ve been scared, stressed and worried.
There has been an underlying state of anxiety, and unacceptability.
Like, I haven’t been able to accept myself.
I’ve needed to achieve something to be acceptable. I’ve needed to be liked by everyone, or achieve something businessy.
When you can’t accept yourself, you can’t accept anyone else.
It uses 98% of your energy to second-guess people, to tune into what they think, hear and say. And try to avoid conflict.
If you face criticism or feedback, it’s magnified 100x so it’s overwhelming.
Blah blah blah. I’m getting bored of my own writing. Anyway end of the therapy session.
Basically, it’s worth spending plenty of time alone to know yourself and befriend yourself (especially the bits that are unacceptable).
It’s worth getting mindful of what of you think and feel. It’s worth skipping around the field naked with facepaints and praising Lord Booyakasha and being alive.
Blah blah blah, I should stop writing now and taking everything so seriously.
Here’s a picture of Jesus if he was a hipster in 2015.
And when you put your energy into productive projects, helping and listening to others, you feel good and make cool things.
Ok. I’ve stopped this drivel. Have fun.